Do you know those situations where you just don’t want to do something but you are too afraid to say no because you don’t want to risk disappointing the other person?
Don`t get me wrong- this is amazing and shows that you are a loving and caring friend. But at the same time it also means that you put your friend`s needs over your`s… and done over and over again it can get quite unhealthy. So what can you do? Just ignore your friend?
I think the goal should be to listen to your needs but also let your loved ones know that you care for them.
I suggest the following:
- Explain your situation and feelings
- Appreciate the other person
- Suggest alternatives
Let’s say you had a busy day, you are exhausted and just want to stay home, take a bath and go to bed early but your friend asks you if you can come over to her house and listen to her problems at work. The last thing you want to do at the moment is to leave the house again and listen to her same problems again and again but as she is your friend you just want to be there for her no matter what.
- Explain why you are tired and why you wanted to stay home.
- Tell them how much you appreciate them and that you want to help and be there for them. You want to be able to focus on them completely, but this particular night you are not feeling your best and would prefer to be alone/ doing sports/ etc…
- Suggest an alternative! This way the other person can already look forward to another day and doesn’t feel rejected. You just changed the plan and didn’t cancel it
To stick to the example above, you could suggest visiting them another night or that they come over to your place and you just watch a movie together 🙂
I hope this was helpful! Should you wish to talk to me in person, remember that you can always book a free coaching session with me here.