Why Insecurities are actually a Good Thing.
You might think “Wait! What? Nobody wants insecurities!” and I totally agree with you. When we enter adulthood most insecurities just stand in our ways of living the life that we really want and we want to get rid of them. But in order to get control over them, it’s good to first take a step back and analyse where they actually come from. So let’s travel back in time.
We enter this crazy world as infants and are completely helpless. We depend on our parents to feed and protect us in order to survive. Instinctively they love us and try their best to keep us strong and healthy. The older we get the more we start to realise (consciously as well as unconsciously) how dependent we really are. Without our parents or other caring family members, there is no food on the table, no one to pick us up from school, no one to take care of us when we get sick, and of course no one to make us feel loved and safe. It’s only natural that we want to maintain this situation for as long as possible.
If we do not feel loved and accepted, our anxiety starts to rise because of the danger that comes with not being part of a family or community.
Soon we learn what we need to do or how we need to be in order to receive the positive feedback we think we need, the feeling of acceptance and love from our family members.
As you might have already experienced, the “how to be” in order to get accepted varies between families, cultures and gender. For some parents, it might be of undisputed importance that their children are intelligent and successful, whereas for others, it’s all about being polite, quiet, or pretty.
As we see, insecurities served us in our childhood as an aid to survive and have not been bad things at all. But the tricky part here is that once we started to realize what “our parents` thing” was, we automatically started to question “Am I … enough?” (intelligent, pretty, quiet, brave etc.).
If we never stopped questioning “am I enough”, chances are pretty high that this harmless question manifested itself into insecurity and is now influencing or even limiting our adult life.
If you want to know how to detect the roots of your insecurities and how to get control over them, jump over to part 2 of this Topic. (Insecurities Part II)
See you there 😉
PS: In case you have any questions, you are more than welcome to message me at any time by sending an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org